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| Things Mr. Ericson is no longer allowed to do. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 12 2013, 04:22 PM (23,959 Views) | |
| The Black Glove | Sep 12 2013, 04:22 PM Post #1 |
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A Man Of Heart
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Perhaps you are familiar with the infamous list of "Things Mr. Welch is no longer allowed to do". I have been blessed (or as some would say, cursed) with a Mr. Welch in my own group. When I curse a character named Mord, I am cursing the player in my party who ruins any semblance of a plot I have constructed by various means. Thanks to him, I have been inspired to make a list of things he, Mr. Ericson, is no longer allowed to do. Things Mr. Ericson is no Longer Allowed to Do. 1.) A handshake does not count as Grapple initiation. 2.) I will not name my character "murderer", regardless of language. 3.) My negative charisma stat is not offset by my ability to punch people who disagree with me. 4.) I am no longer allowed to make characters with ridiculous health, evasion, and damage reduction. 5.) I will not test my newfound Ninja powers by attemping to rob the store and frame the engineer for it. 6.) "Let me go" means "put me back on the cliff first". 7.) "I teleport" should not be the answer to all problems. 8.) If the party finds out I am wanted for questioning by the police, they should not feel this is an everyday occurance. 9.) It is NEVER a good idea to convince the party to split into three seperate groups going three separate ways, creating three separate campaigns for the already struggling GM to run simultaneously. (A/N: *Cries*) 10.) When trying to level up my Low Level Pokemon, using Close Combat to shatter the low-level Corsola my GM has graciously provided for training purposes is considered murder. 11.) Regardless of what the rules say, I will not drop from a 5 story building and take no damage. 12.) Upon discovering a fence that absorbs electricity, I will not pump it full of juice and tell my party members to "poke it with a stick". 13.) If the GM passingly mentions a character who is important to his plot, I will not send out an APB on his head. 14.) The Chaotic ANYTHING alignment is forbidden. 15.) After burning a Pokemon to a crisp, my immediate response should not be "I wonder what it tastes like". 16.) I will not kill off a character I am bored with for no good reason just so I can try another class. 17.) Rule 16 applies doubly to Kamikaze rushes with explosives. 18.) I cannot teach Rattata to learn Cut, even if it can learn it in the rules. I understand that this is one of the few times my GM feels like he has a say in his own campaigns anymore. 19.) I will not make the GM regret the few chances he had to kill me. 20.) I must get a party member's permission to use them as a melee weapon. 21.) Even if the rules state otherwise, commiting werewolf genocide will incur a loss of morality. 22.) After filling our home with said werewolves, I should inform the rest of the party before they arrive. 23.) Cheerleaders do not exist solely to start riots. 24.) Even if I can logically state why my character would do so, demanding to see the water supply immediately upon realizing what module the GM is running counts as metagaming. 26.) I should tell my party member I'm going to start a bar fight before throwing him into the crowd. Of course, we've all had our moments. Things the REST of the Party is no Longer Allowed to Do. 1.) I will not burn down Viridian Forest because "It pissed me off." 2.) I will not joke about how my Pokemon have a higher intellect than most of our party members. 3.) I will not sit outside the Pokemon Center challenging trainers to fights. Free healing is a privledge, not a right. 4.) Intuition skill checks do not work like a free version of "Detect Evil". 5.) I will not pass through all dungeons by tossing a stick of dynamite in the room and shutting the door. 6.) "Science says natural 20" does not mean you have successfully created X, where X is anything you can imagine. 7.) I will not set up members of the party as the true Big Bad of the campaign. 8.) I will not create characters who are obsessed with dissection. |
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| passinglurker | Sep 12 2013, 11:51 PM Post #2 |
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Pokémon Trainer
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*claps* brilliant post tbg I especially agree with #7 obviously burrowing is the answer to everything not teleporting
Edited by passinglurker, Sep 12 2013, 11:53 PM.
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| Grand Silver | Sep 13 2013, 12:16 AM Post #3 |
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2 kewl 4 u!
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I sort of want to know more about the werewolf thing, but I'm afraid to find out the details. |
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| The Black Glove | Sep 13 2013, 12:34 AM Post #4 |
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A Man Of Heart
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It happened during a World of Darkness campaign run by a friend of mine. He was a changeling, and tricked a group of werewolves into running into the hedge (an alternate dimension) while under a contract. If they broke the contract (harming changelings), they would die. He proceeded to close the door to the other dimension behind them. The players all knew that he had essentially just trapped a bunch of pissed off werewolves in the party's home, all of whom were eager to get revenge by harming the changeling who did that to them, but Mr. Ericson did not inform the other characters, and they were nearly killed when they opened the front door. |
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| castfromhp | Sep 13 2013, 01:57 AM Post #5 |
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Mawile Ace
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These kinds of lists are always fun. I bet I could start compiling a small list for myself really... 1. I will not hack security cameras with my Porygon during a terrorist attack and blackmail the government for millions with the footage. 2. I will not attempt to modify pokeballs for catching the pokemon-human hybrid villains. 3. A jet engine on a stick with Deoxys DNA stuck in it does not make a psionically enhanced rocket hammer. 4. Vodka is not the answer to all problems. 5. I will not push over petrified soldiers in Azelf's statue garden because I think they're "zero fabulous". 6. I will not use dragons as improvised throwing weapons. 7. I will not insist a player character is a blowjob robot. 8. Every session does not need to start with a half hour of roleplaying breakfast and describing every detail of the meal my character cooked for the party. 9. I will not Ally Switch with my Double Team clones the few times attacks manage to hit me. |
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| Saia | Sep 13 2013, 02:14 AM Post #6 |
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Comic Relief
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Hacking security cameras is a good use of the feat. Now if your enemies are computer programs, robots, or guys in power armor, hacking THEM is always fun. |
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| KujiUn | Sep 13 2013, 02:25 AM Post #7 |
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Data Manager
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In no particular order... 1. I am no longer allowed to make characters which sole purpose is maximizing DR. 2. I am no longer allowed to sell or even give away max Breeder/Hatcher Pokemon, ESPECIALLY if the campaign is a pickup game with over twenty characters. 3. I am no longer allowed to use Magnitude on an ally trainer AND his starter, both weak to Ground and rolling DSTs, ON THE FIRST ACTUAL ENCOUNTER OF THE CAMPAIGN, and say it is "collateral damage", no matter what is in character. 3a. On second thought, I am no longer allowed to play any more mass 3b. When everyone else is taking a Coord advanced class, it is best to follow along. 4. Even if I am playtesting a class that your GM made, I am no longer allowed to completely break the economy of the campaign, no matter how tempting. Such has shown to make apocalypses happen in newly opened small businesses. 5. I am no longer allowed to play characters who do not speak the language of the place where he lives, even if all the other merchants speak it. It is just annoying after a while. 6. When confronted with a dilemma of how to explain how a PC vanished, I am no longer allowed to push out the idea of a time portal opening up and swallowing him. People tend to take that seriously. 7. I am no longer allowed to insist that manliness is shared by intercourse. 8. I am no longer allowed to chuck giant plot bombs at Wailmers in order to kill them, both figuratively and literally. 9. While the rest of the party is off fighting life-or-death battles, I am no longer allowed to try to qualify for a wrestling tournament. 10. As a PC, I am no longer allowed to spend most of the day sleeping. 11. I am no longer allowed to call a four foot fifteen year old "short", even though the real word I want to use is "metagamer." 12. I am no longer allowed to have characters that speak languages that are not cleared by the GM, no matter how thematic. Edited by KujiUn, Sep 13 2013, 10:58 AM.
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| FoxTrott | Sep 13 2013, 06:23 AM Post #8 |
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Cartoon Character
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That is a fantastic list, Glove. I might have to add a few my players aren't allowed to do... 1) I am not allowed to use Hopip as bait. 2) I am not allowed to fish with a Hopip. 3) I am not allowed to throw Hopip, with Telekinesis or otherwise. 4) I am not allowed to Stomp the enemy's testicles. 5) I am not allowed to try and shock a locked metal door in hopes of opening it. 5a) I am not to ignore the laws of physics because it would be cool. 6) I am not allowed to name my Pokemon Hitler because it would be an okay name in the Pokemon world. 6a) "ConFaggot" is also not allowed for a Confagrigus. 7) I am not allowed to correct the GM in regards to the Pokemon canon. 7a) But I will do it anyway because I browse these forums and live to annoy the GM. (<3) As a GM... 1) I am not allowed to use Explosion in an enclosed space. 2) I am not allowed to send the players back in time without planning for it beforehand. 3) I am not allowed to say a Hopip dreams of male Hopips without beforehand checking the gender. We now have a gay Hopip. 4) I am not allowed to utter under my breath, "You guys are fucking nuts". |
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| Yenek | Sep 13 2013, 06:46 AM Post #9 |
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Pokémon Trainer
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He didn't, btw. "Mord" is the act, not the criminal (that would be "Mörder").
What's wrong with CG? |
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| IrnBruAddict | Sep 13 2013, 09:30 AM Post #10 |
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Pokémon Trainer
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As a GM: 1) I am not allowed to let Kuji near a bomb 2) I am not allowed to give Kuji high-tech equipment 2a) If I do, I can't complain when he feeds it to his Rattata 3) I am not to let anyone, PC or NPC, ever learn Blizzard 4) I am not to give players plot important pokemon, they'll trade them away without realizing 5) I am not allowed to make this guy a gym leader As a player: 1) I am not allowed to keep a sex list of all the gym leaders my PC would like to bang 1a) I am not allowed to put Janine on the list, Koga will kill me 1b) I am not allowed to put Erica on the list, her Venasaur will tentacle-rape me 1c) I am not allowed put Sabrina on the list, she'll telekinetic nut-crush me 1d) No, seriously, she will 2) I am not allowed to have a backstory involve pranking an old man, or the GM will turn them into the Kanto equivalent of the Pope 3) I am not allowed an Umbreon 3a) Even if I get an Umbreon, it'll become an Espeon 3b) Seriously, it's no longer an Umbreon, and it's not turning back 4) I am not allowed to get away with punching the rest of my team when I'm the 'Token Good Guy' 5) I am not allowed to ever crit a CHA check on a plot important NPC, the GM will just kill them instead 6) If someone says they 'love pokemon', I am not allowed to ask them what they mean by that 7) I am not allowed to open a stolen pokeball in the middle of a casino 8) I am not allowed to throw Krabby at old men 9) I am not allowed to touch a teammates balls 9a) or their pokeballs 10) I am not allowed to give homeless kids a Spinarak, he'll murder his friends with it 11) I am not allowed to let the team 'Murder-hobo' babysit the kids 11a) Especially not if his bug pokemon are breeding in the next room 11b) Even if he does it once, I can't assume he's learned his lesson 12) No one in the Team Rocket game is ever allowed to mention the Jynx incident |
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5:17 PM Jul 10