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DNA's Peon Kicks Ass and Takes Names in SoulSilver; Up to Chapter 6 now
Topic Started: Mar 21 2015, 08:40 PM (3,991 Views)
DNA
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King of Thought
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
It is known that I have all knowledge. I just don't always remember it.
Also Latios isn't even in the story so he's not relevant.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG HERE

~~~

DNA's Peon Kicks Ass and Takes Names in SoulSilver
Chapter 2: There's Something Really Wrong With Me


* DNA and Ingrid have joined #lab
<Ingrid> wait weren't we just in Cherrygrove?
<!DNA> yes
<Ingrid> how did we suddenly get back to the lab?
<!DNA> timeskip


The perks to writing your own story is that you can just timeskip everything all the time and it's totally legitimate. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

As we get there, there's a police officer already there investigating a theft of a Pokemon. He says that the perpetrator always returns to the scene of the crime, AND THEREFORE IT MUST BE HER! Before I get a chance to tell Ingrid not to punch the cop out (because she was dangerously close to doing so), the neighbor boy Nick rushes in to defend her innocence, saying he saw a white-haired boy peeking into the building and fleeing in a hurry. The policeman asks for his name, but we didn't know, so we didn't tell him.

Ingrid's about to leave, but I remind her to hand the egg over to Snowbear22 so he can fry it up and serve it with bacon... I mean research it later. Snowbear starts fanboying at the egg, but fanboys even more when he heard that Professor Oak in the flex gave Ingrid a Pokedex personally.

<Snowbear22> OMG OAK
<Snowbear22> OMG OMG OMG


It went on like that for a while.

After he got over it (it was at least 5 minutes later), he suggested that maybe Ingrid could take the gym challenge to fill up that Pokedex. She might fight the champion one day...or not! ...he's got a bit of a sick sense of humor. He suggests to ask 'mom' about advice.

<Woman> You're going on a journey with Pokemon? But what can I do?
<Woman> I know! Every time you receive prize money, I'll save some of it for you. On a long journey, money's important. Do you want me to save your money?
<Ingrid> Uh, I guess so?
<Woman> Sure thing! Wow, I can't believe that worked.
<Ingrid> What?
<Woman> Nothing.


And so now the bribery begins. My fiendish plan is coming to fruition. I inform Ingrid that we should rush to Violet City post-haste, so we can see the sights quicker. She agrees, and before we go, Nick comes up and confronts us both.

<Nick> Wait, both of you. Just a moment.
<Ingrid> Nick, right? What is it?
<Nick> Well, I wanted to give you some Poke Balls to start out. But also, a question.
<Ingrid> Yeah?
<Nick> Why didn't you tell the police officer the boy's name?
<Ingrid> uh...because I didn't know it?
<Nick> Yeah you did. You and DNA and I all know who that boy was.
<!DNA> okay, how do you know MY name?
<Nick> Because I'm Nick.
<Ingrid> Nick's a pretty common name th-
<!DNA> You mean Nick, as in Nyc Nox?
<Nick> The very same.
<Nick> So, how's my human disguise?
<Ingrid> I'll admit it, I thought you were a wet napkin.
<Nick> Ouch.
<Nick> Well, Ingrid? Do you plan to sightsee through Johto? Or do you want to catch up to...him?
<!DNA> replace 'Johto' with 'Weyard' and I'm pretty sure you just described Golden Sun 1
<!DNA> ...which I now want to play, damn you
<Ingrid> FOCUS
<Ingrid> I heard from Crumpets you played GS2 all through Hoenn, now GS1 all through Johto?
<Ingrid> Can't you get your priorities straight, just once?
<!DNA> I can; I just choose not to.
<Ingrid> Why do I put up with you?
<!DNA> I have absolutely no idea.


We run through Route 30 and 31 and only fight 1 trainer along the way. I have her take the shortest path on purpose so we can get to Violet City ASAP, then backtrack through the rest of the area later.

<Ingrid> Sweet, we made it to Violet City!
<Ingrid> What did you want to do here?
<!DNA> Just sightsee and bypass the trainers for a bit.
<!DNA> Hey, does this cloth smell like chloroform to you?
<Ingrid> Does wh--
* Ingrid falls unconscious
<!DNA> step 1 complete
<!DNA> I only have a few hours to do this, so I'd best act fast.
<!DNA> Ingrid would never let me do this if she were conscious.
<!DNA> ...wait.
<!DNA> That didn't come out right.


I'm going to stop talking and just let my actions talk for me for a while. I quickly hide Ingrid in a quiet, out-of-the-way spot, so she won't be found. Then, I go into the Pokemon Center and access one of the PCs, looking for some specific data to accomplish my next task. I find it, and armed with knowledge, I head to another location nearby: the Ruins of Alph.

It really is a bit of a dreary place, but I'm going to explore it more later. Right now I'm just here for one main purpose.

<!DNA> okay do your thing
<Arceus1> k
<Arceus1> wait why am I Arceus 1


One blink later, we're in the mountains. There's this shrine that's been here for who knows how long, that looks like a giant triangle, but there's nothing here right now. I make sure that my body didn't get lost in transit (it didn't), and I step outside. It's snowing, so therefore, it must be Christmas.

There's this fat guy outside who invites me to his cabin, since it's cold outside, and explains he has a very famous guest staying with him. I nod politely and am not paying attention, as I'm enthralled by how tall the walls of snow are. Seriously, how does anyone get in or out of here other than magic? How do they LIVE?

I mean, I can see melting the snow down for water to drink, but what about the food?

Maybe I'm overthinking it.

I go inside and I see a guy with an Abra. Ah, that's why. He teleports food in. I wonder if his victims are unsuspecting. Come to think of it, I wonder if Abra can just steal food and stuff by teleporting it from somewhere else to right in front of its face.

Maybe I'm overthinking it.

<Cassiopeia> I sense a familiar presence from your Poke Ball...
<Cassiopeia> Could it be Dialga?
<Cassiopeia> Palkia?
<Cassiopeia> Or is it Giratina?
<Arceus1> none of the above
<!DNA> how does one mistake Arceus for a universe dragon?
<Arceus1> I know Roar of Time, Spatial Rend, and Shadow Force
<Arceus1> maybe that's why
<!DNA> ...of course...
<Cassiopeia> This is good news, actually. Would you mind following me back to the ruins?
<!DNA> yes
<!DNA> ...
<!DNA> okay not really


I totally forgot what she said on the walk there, as it was probably some crap about Sinnoh being formed by Arceus and dragons and yada yada yada Mr White would kill me if he heard me say that. The woman then goes on to explain that the stage is made for a single Arceus, with the three circles on it representing the 3 dragons of Sinnoh. For a chuckle, I ask about Palkia.

About one minute later...

<Cassiopeia> ...
<Cassiopeia> Did we just witness the creation of an egg? A moment that no one has ever seen?
<!DNA> ogawd
<!DNA> I felt like I was watching Arceus filming a sex tape
<!DNA> it looked like a cosmorgasm; I feel dirty
<Cassiopeia> a what?
<!DNA> never mi-wait, is that a baby Palkia?
<!DNA> it's so miniscule it's adorable
<Palkia> u wot m8
<Palkia> il knok ur blinkin blok off
<Palkia> i swear on me mum
<Arceus1> dad
<Palkia> w/e


I'm simultaneously amused and mollified. Arceus One asks if we can leave already. I agree, baby Palkia in hand. I look at the time, and notice barely any time has passed. I skedaddle back to the Violet City Pokemon Center to check up on Ingrid, and thankfully, she's still sleeping. Good, that gives me a bit more time. I access the PC briefly and run back.

<!DNA> okay do your thing
<Arceus2> k
<Arceus2> wait why am I Arceus 2


Clearly the trauma wasn't enough to make me stop, as I went back to fetch a baby Dialga this time. Combined with the baby Giratina I got a very long time ago from a friend, I think you can probably see where this playthrough is going.

<Arceus2> what kind of sick voyeur are you
<!DNA> one that spares the eyes of the less innocent
<Arceus2> that doesn't make any sense
<Arceus2> you don't even have any kids
<!DNA> your MOM doesn't have any kids!
<!DNA> ...
<!DNA> I'm sorry; that was rude of me


Strangely enough, I think Arceus2's mom really doesn't have any kids.

I get back to Violet City in time for dawn (we'd been trekking most of the night before), and Ingrid was just waking up. Just in time, too. Time for yet another surprise.

<Ingrid> uhn...where am I?
<Ingrid> and why does my nose smell like chloroform?
<!DNA> Morning, Ingrid.
<Ingrid> oh, morning, DNA. Why do you smell like baby powder?
<!DNA> I do? That's weird; I don't even have any hair.
<Ingrid> How is that relevant?
<!DNA> I know you can brush your hair with baby powder to make it look cleaner.
<!DNA> I mean, if I wanted to camouflage the fact that I hadn't showered in days, I could at least make my hair look presentable,
<!DNA> but I don't have hair, so that's not even relevant.
<Ingrid> Ew, go shower!
<!DNA> fine. I'll probably have to, given what I went through last night.
<Ingrid> ...
<Ingrid> okay, explain yourself, but veeeeeeeeery slowly, and without any sudden movements.
<!DNA> check your belt.
<Ingrid> Why?
<!DNA> humor me for a sec.
<Ingrid> ...there's 4 Poke Balls here. There used to be just 1.
<Ingrid> DNA, what did you do?
<!DNA> you're not going to ask if I was somehow responsible?
<Ingrid> That's a stupid question; I already know you are
<!DNA> fair point. Well, I took a trip to the nearby ruins and I found some baby Pokemon.
<!DNA> I thought it might be cool if we took care of them.
<Ingrid> where did you find them?
<!DNA> In the ruins. They looked like they were only recently found there.
<Ingrid> That explains the baby powder smell.
<!DNA> It does?
<!DNA> er, right. of course it would. silly DNA.
<Ingrid> Do they have names?
<!DNA> Not as far as I know. Why don't you say hello?
<Ingrid> sure, I think I could do that.
* Ingrid releases the 3 Poke Balls
<Ingrid> ... ... ...


And I think I'll leave the response for next time.

End of Chapter 2!

DNA's Team So Far:
Posted Image Pimpwalker LV. 9
Posted Image LV. 1
Posted Image LV. 1
Posted Image LV. 1
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GrayGriffin
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"Ah, you unmasked me. Whatever shall I do."
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Yay, baby legendaries!
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DNA
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King of Thought
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
GrayGriffin
May 24 2015, 09:08 PM
Yay, baby legendaries!
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Bowyer
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Pokémon Trainer
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DNA what have you done. Can ingrid even handle this power?
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DNA
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King of Thought
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Provided they don't tear each other's heads off first, I think so.
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NickKnack
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Yeah, I could see Ingrid tearing their heads off, even if it is 3 to 1.
I certainly wouldn't put it past her.
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DNA
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NickKnack
May 27 2015, 05:50 PM
Yeah, I could see Ingrid tearing their heads off, even if it is 3 to 1.
I certainly wouldn't put it past her.
yeah, that TORQUE

Hey, it's been a few days, why not time for another? because I think I update this every 4 days or so, right?

~~~

DNA's Peon Kicks Ass and Takes Names in SoulSilver
Chapter 3: I'm in a Creek and I Have No Paddle


"You FOUND baby god-dragons!? Just LYING there!? And you TOOK them!? That's like...that's like.... That's like abducting the baby Jesus, THREE TIMES!"

I know Ingrid is really mad at me, but that last sentence really makes me giggle.

"Stop laughing! This is serious!"

"Really? Because they seem to be bickering to me like any pair of triplets."

"Hey, can I play with you guys?" the Giratina asked.

"Buzz off; no one likes you," the Palkia spat back.

"It would appear that the sky today is quite bright and clear," the Dialga remarked, totally ignoring the conversation, most likely on purpose.

They only came up to waist height, really. I mean, they might be god-dragons, but they're newborns. You can't expect them to be fully formed at birth. They aren't Kangaskhan, after all. Everyone knows that.

"We have to take them back, DNA!" Ingrid protested.

"To WHERE, exactly?" I answered. "They really don't have a home to go back to. Like I said...they're newborns. Whoever left them there, I don't know why, but they got cast out of wherever they came from."

"Why don't I believe you that you just happened to find them..."

"Hey, for the time being, we can hold on to them. See if you get attached. We can't really leave them by themselves, and who knows what will happen if their power is abused in the wrong hands."

"Right, because we are totally the right hands for this."

"You are, at least. I'd say I am, but you'd debate that vehemently."

"...glad to see you're being honest."

"And besides, their bickering is a bit entertaining."

"You know, you should not harass him so," the Dialga reprimanded the Palkia.

"But he's annoying and you know it! I don't want to put up with him..."

"I'm standing right here, you know, guys..." the Giratina sniffed.

"I've already picked out perfect names for them too," I told Ingrid.

"And those names would be?" she asked. I whispered them into her ear. "...That's so perfect that I want to punch you but I probably shouldn't."

"I thought you'd feel that way."

So we, along with Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark (P, D, and G respectively), we go to clean out the trainers on Routes 30 and 31 that we snuck past to get to Violet City early for. Never in my life have I been more excited to get an experience point payoff from a Bug Catcher, of all things. That kind of thing shouldn't happen. It really shouldn't. Oh, and due to being technically traded in from another game, Qwark earned exp 50% faster, but I will have to deal with him being potentially unruly later.

Which is exactly why he's called Qwark.

<!DNA> nice going all of you
<!DNA> we preyed on the weak and now you're all growing stronger like it's nobody's business!
<Pimpwalker> and now I know what it feels like to have younger siblings
<!DNA> to be fair, if you went against a bird gym, you'd get roflstomped
<Pimpwalker> true
<Pimpwalker> but I should be able to handle the next one
<!DNA> with bugs?
<Pimpwalker> ......I hate my life


Fun fact: I once tried going through Gold with a Chikorita, for a change of pace. After beating Bugsy with a level 23 Bayleef, I lost interest because of how annoyingly hard it was. Maybe I can try it with Crystal one day, but the battery is dead so I'm either playing it in one sitting or battery-hunting.

Partway through my explanation, I note that there is an organic food store in Violet City, well-known for its wide selection. I manage to convince Ingrid and the group (and Pimpwalker) to stop by there. After all, who doesn't want to eat healthy? I lead them to the doors and we walk in.

<!DNA> well, guys, welcome to Sprouts
<Ingrid> this just looks like a Tower
<!DNA> that's right


Okay, so I might have omitted a detail or two.

To this day, I don't know why there is a tower devoted entirely to Bellsprout in Violet City. Mook rush? Training before the gym? That martial arts style that involves moving and bending like the wind? I really don't know. Humorously, Ingrid has called this training experience 'weed pulling'.

She's not wrong, technically. Oh, speaking of which, we snagged a Weedle earlier, because we could. Weedle is badass.

Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark go to town with these guys, getting up to speed like it's nobody's business, while Pimpwalker sits it out. Again. I'm sure this totally defeats the purpose of a Chikorita starter, but who cares? Not me!

<!DNA> it's like a zerg rush of level 3 bellsprout
<!DNA> I don't know if they're legitimately supposed to be posing a challe--
<!DNA> OH
<!DNA> THE BELLSPROUT ARE LEVEL 7 NOW
<!DNA> AND THIS GUY HAS A HOOTHOOT AS WELL
<Pimpwalker> WATCH OUT
<Pimpwalker> WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE
<Clank> It appears someone has reached the top before us.
<Elder> You showed us what you've got, and it is indeed good... Take this Technical Machine.
<Elder> However, you should care more about your Pokemon.
<Elder> The way you treat your Pokemon can be too harsh...
<Elder> Remember, Pokemon are not tools of war...
<!DNA> glad to see that line made it into the remake
<!DNA> unlike the peeping tom at Celadon
<!DNA> I'M SORRY, BUT I FAIL TO SEE HOW STRONG TRAINERS TURN YOU ON
<Whitehair> You shouldn't speak so loud, you know.
<Whitehair> That guy, too. Some Elder. How does he expect to be a challenge with Bellsprout?
<Elder> ...Everyone's a critic...
<Whitehair> I know what I'm doing. I know what Pokemon really feel like.
<Whitehair> People can lecture all they want, but they don't know what Pokemon feel.
<Ingrid> And I assume you do?
<Whitehair> Take your purple friend there. He seems positively bored, and slightly peeved.
<!DNA> no shit, sherlock
<!DNA> are we going to do a bit more exposition about strong versus weak, or are we done here?
<Whitehair> Your lectures are boring too, you know. And I really don't have time for them.
* Whitehair tugs on a rope, then disappears into the floor.
<!DNA> Silph Co really seems to know how to make good quality rope.
<!DNA> Like that one conveniently on the ground over th-
<!DNA> oh, NOW we run into a wild Pokemon


No joke, we didn't run into a single one on the way up.

Now for the Elder. He explains that Sprouts Tower is, indeed, a training ground for humans and Pokemon - and the organic food certainly doesn't hurt eith-

oh THAT'S why they have Bellsprout

I still can't take them very seriously though. I mean, Bellsprout. Come now. The level 10 Hoothoot was a thing, but it kinda pales when next to a Palkia. After winning, the Elder remarks that his TM, Flash, can light up the darkest caves.

<Elder> You can teach it to Bellsprout, for example...
<Ingrid> ...and we're done here
<Ingrid> so, where are we off to next?
<!DNA> Yoda
<Ingrid> Yoda?
<Earl> Bonjour! You are Trainer?
<!DNA> okay, Kalos Yoda
<Ingrid> DON'T MENTION KALOS TO ME AGAIN
<Earl> Battle Gym Leader, win you did?
<Ingrid> uh, no?
<Earl> Is that so? Then study shall you! Follow me!
<Ingrid> Get back here! AND STOP SPINNING
<Earl> Here, teacher I am. Good it is you study here!


Ingrid asked me to go deal with him, so I stepped inside while she waited without.

<Earl> Earl, I am! Wonderful are Pokemon, yes!
<Pimpwalker> missed the chance to make a My Name Is Earl joke
<Pimpwalker> smh
<Earl> Teach you I will to be a better Trainer!
<!DNA> ...lol
<Earl> What you want to know? Want to be a winner is you?
<Pimpwalker> JACKPOTTING!
<Ratchet> ...what the hell is going on with you two?
<Clank> Hush, Ratchet. It is rude to interrupt.
<Earl> Good! Teach you, I will! In battle, Pokemon top on list...
* DNA mashes A button


I thought I got an item from him after his spiel. I don't. What a gyp! Oh right, the Quick Claw is in the park. Next up, Violet City Gym. I inform Ingrid that I invited a few friends along for the ride, to which she responded "yes, I remember".

I'm mystified why they put in a route to skip the junior trainers in the remake. Maybe they wanted the first gym to always be stupid-easy. Regardless, we will not be doing that. It's time to clip some wings. We leave Weedle out front to gather some side experience so he can handle stuff like Cut later.

<Ingrid> level 9 Spearow?
<Ingrid> and everything we have is lower than that
<Ingrid> and it gets harder?
<Qwark> Don't worry, I can handle this, with my own special brand of heroism!
* Qwark AWAY!!


I can't blame him, really. He is quite effective.

<Ingrid> let's see if I remember how to do this...
<Ingrid> !challenge
<@GrayGriffin> oh, there you guys are.
<@GrayGriffin> hopefully shopping at Sprouts didn't take too long.
<!DNA> I TOLD you it was a food store
<Ingrid> it's NOT a food store!
<!DNA> I'm surprised you're here and not at the tower, though
<!DNA> I know you're the bird person, but if memory serves, you like owls in particular
<@GrayGriffin> I'll get a Noctowl later anyway.
<!DNA> ...point
<@GrayGriffin> and a level 13 Pidgeotto isn't as funny as a level 9 one.
<!DNA> yeah, it doesn't have Mud-Slap, it has ROOST which is much worse
<Ingrid> we're gonna lose, aren't we?
<Qwark> Not if I have anything to say about it!
* Qwark AWAY!!


Strangely enough, he does not get himself killed. Clearly that suicide gambit did not work, so I am forced to use another. I thus send Pimpwalker to die against the Pidgeotto.

I'm kidding, of course. It was to get a shot to use Poisonpowder on the Pidgeotto. Of course, it missed, so I have to recall him, before he really does get himself killed. We switch him out for Clank, who can easily take anything that Gray's Pidgeotto dishes out. Unfortunately, since it takes 2 Metal Claws to get it to half health, which it can just Roost off, that won't work very well.

<!DNA> oh
<!DNA> Dragonbreath does about 40% to it AND paralyzes on the first try
<!DNA> huh
<!DNA> how about that
<@GrayGriffin> ...welp, gg
<@GrayGriffin> At least the couple minutes of screen time was nice!
<!DNA> yep
<!DNA> now you can go back to buying birdseed
<!DNA> or training parrots
<!DNA> or build flying suits
<!DNA> or whatever it is you birdpeople do I DON'T KNOW OKAY
<@GrayGriffin> Actually, we mostly just fly in wind tunnels and train falcons.
<!DNA> you have FALCONS!?
<@GrayGriffin> Well, yeah.
<@GrayGriffin> A falcon is a bird, after all.
<!DNA> ...oh. yeah.
<!DNA> I knew that.
<!DNA> ...how'd I forget? the peregrine is my FAVORITE animal.
<@GrayGriffin> ...We have much to discuss.
<Ingrid> Can I just have the Zephyr Badge and TM51 Roost now?
<Ingrid> while you can catch up on feather talk or whatever
<@GrayGriffin> Sure, but it's not really feather talk.
<@GrayGriffin> We don't actually have feathers.
<Ingrid> ...I knew that.


Shortly thereafter, Ingrid gets a call from Snowbear saying they've discovered something, they want her to carry the egg from earlier, and to go to the Poke Mart to pick it up.

But that is a story for another day. After I steal HM06 Rock Smash from the dude on Route 36, of course.

End of Chapter 3!

DNA's Team So Far:
Posted Image Pimpwalker LV. 10
Posted Image Ratchet LV. 8
Posted Image Clank LV. 8
Posted Image Qwark LV. 8

Posted Image LV. 7
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GrayGriffin
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"Ah, you unmasked me. Whatever shall I do."
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Yeah, falcons are awesome. I used to dream of training one when I was a little kid.
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KujiUn
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Data Manager
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O-oh, is it too late to sign up? ikindawannabeBrock
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DNA
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Is it too late? Not at all.
I'm pretty sure I can fit you as Brock, as I don't recall casting anyone else as such.
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